When you know that your loved one is progressing normally towards their final moment it can allay many of your fears. This awareness can also give you some ideas about how to respond to the physiological changes that are taking place in the person you are caring for and when to get medical assistance.
Even when we think we are prepared for unexpected events, the last stages of life are unpredictable and crisis moments (such as a seizure or extreme pain) can happen when someone’s health is declining. In stressful situations it can be hard to know what to do. You can make arrangements with a community nurse, palliative care practitioner or family member to be on hand should you need crisis support at any hour.
Although it’s a good idea to think through the necessary steps and implications of any emergency medical intervention, such as calling an ambulance and being moved to hospital, it's also important to know that things may not always go as you had imagined. Circumstances can change suddenly and dramatically when someone is near death. At these times it’s important to do what’s right for you and your loved one, taking into account their final wishes.
Preparing an advance care directive, which records instructions about the type and level of health care a person wants to receive if they are no longer able to make or communicate decisions about their treatment, can help you avoid any unwanted medical intervention.
An advance care directive, which records instructions about the type and level of health care a person wants to receive if they are no longer able to make or communicate decisions about their treatment can help you avoid any unwanted medical intervention.
There are some typical changes that can take place as the body prepares for its final moments. These include:
Not all these changes will be present in every person and they won’t occur in any particular order.
While these signs can be frightening or upsetting if not expected, remember that they are normal. If you are concerned about anything, your GP, home nursing or palliative care team can assist you by providing information and support – remember that they are there to help you.
This video might help you better understand what happened to the body at the end of life. It's delivered with kindness and compassion for where you might be at in your journey, even so, it can be challenging. Take your time and perhaps watch it over a few short sessions.
The days before the person’s final moment, as their body winds down, are usually peaceful for them.
At the moment of death the person will stop breathing and their heart will cease beating. There may be some muscle twitches, but that will end quickly. Their face will relax and the pupils will grow large and still.
Afterwards, the body goes through more changes. As muscles are completely relaxed, body fluids may be expelled from the rectum, bladder or mouth. Their eyelids may be partially open and their mouth may open, too. Muscles don't start to stiffen for some hours.
When you are ready, call your doctor to arrange a death certificate, or if you prefer, a funeral director can make this call on your behalf. You will need to inform the doctor or funeral director of the time of death.
Once their body has been removed, emotions may overwhelm you. You may be exhausted and unable to sleep. This are natural reactions, and self-care is vital at this time.
You have shared an incredible gift with the person you cared for and with everyone who has been part of that person’s life.
Give yourself permission to feel proud of the ways in which you have accomplished a unique task.