Aged care can be the best option for many families when a loved one is no longer able to live at home. If your loved one is reluctant to go into a facility, you can take steps to help the transition go more smoothly.
Rose Dillon, an experienced Violet Guide, says people usually go into residential aged care after an incident like a fall, or because they’re no longer coping at home. “This can make them feel like they’re losing control or being bullied into it,” says Rose, who supported her mother’s move into care. “Starting a conversation early helps the older person feel like they’re driving the decision. It may not happen for several years, but when it does, you’ll be better prepared.”
Melissa Woolf, Customer Liaison Officer at Goodwin Aged Care Services, agrees. “I don’t like to see the situation where people have something happen, they go to hospital, and can’t return home. If they’re unable to visit facilities and get a feel for them, it leaves the family to decide where they’ll live when they’re discharged.”
If your love one isn’t ready to discuss residential aged care, you can talk more generally about what’s important to them, Rose adds. “Most people leave aged care because they die, so it's the time for having conversations and understanding what matters most to people at that stage of life.”
Rose says her mum was reluctant to go into care, but she encouraged her to focus on the positives. “I said, ‘I know this isn’t what you want, but right now it’s the only option. Instead of thinking this is a terrible place, what can we do to make it the best it can be?’”
Melissa adds aged care isn’t what it used to be. “I think a lot of people remember the old days when they were visiting their loved ones, and they were very depressing places to be – unhomely, very sterile environments. Aged care is such a different place now. I have many people say they wish they’d come earlier, because they didn’t realise how different it was.”
To help you find a good fit, Melissa suggests looking at all the facilities that could be suitable. “As a resident, you need to feel comfortable in the space, as it’s your new home. You need to like what you see, how you feel, and how you’re treated. If you’re not comfortable, then it isn’t the right place for you.”
She recommends asking questions, thinking about the information, and following up if necessary. “I will explain things 100 times if needed to help people navigate the transfer into aged care.”
Rose agrees, suggesting you look beyond the glossy brochures advertising the swimming pool and hairdressing. “Find out what care they can offer, such as end-of-life care. Talking to residents and people who work there can help you and your loved one decide if it’s the right place for them.”