Maintain an adequate diet and ensure you get enough sleep
Ensure you get enough exercise
Reconnect with people – but at your own pace
Here are some actions you can take to look after yourself during your grief.
If you don’t feel like eating, which often happens, try eating small portions more frequently. By the way, have friends in your circle offered to deliver meals to you? Say yes if they have. If you’re asked what style of meal you would like, suggest something that you can freeze or refrigerate then reheat.
Be wary of using alcohol to self-medicate. It’s a mood depressant so it will only compound your sense of grief unnecessarily. The same advice stands in relation to other drugs. Do not take prescription or other drugs, without the guidance of a doctor or pharmacist.
Ensure you get enough sleep. People suffering from grief report trouble getting to sleep and more restless sleep. They are more likely than others to suffer from difficulty getting back to sleep when they wake in the middle of the night.
Paradoxically, it’s a time when you might feel you just can’t get out of bed because you cannot face the day. All of these reactions are normal.
As you become less overwhelmed, put in place routines that will help you get to sleep. This includes simple steps such as going to bed at the same time every night and setting the alarm for the same time. Do not use your computer for at least an hour before you sleep. Evidence shows that computer light interferes with the production of melatonin, changing our natural sleep rhythms.
Ensure you get consistent exercise, even if only a little bit. Australian guidelines recommend people get at least 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical exercise every day. This will help to stimulate your appetite and give you more energy.
If this seems too daunting, start with only 10 minutes of activity a day.
Lower your caffeine intake because caffeine increases anxiety levels.
Learn mindfulness exercises or simple meditation techniques, which can help you focus outside your grief thoughts and memories.
Seek distractions, such as small outings with friends you feel safe to reveal yourself to, in your current state of emotional vulnerability.
Let go of your usual routines and let unimportant things go. It’s often a time when we reassess what’s really important to us. At the same time, be aware of the need to invite some routines back in.
Spend a little bit of time in the sun every day. On a sunny day you might like to go for a walk in your favourite park. Research shows that spending time in nature can help soothe anxiety.
Take small steps to re-join the community, at a pace that suits you.
In the early days contact people who are close so you won’t be embarrassed if you cry in front of them. Seek out people who have experienced grief, so know what you are going through.
A formal bereavement group can help you too. Often organised by local councils and local hospitals, Violet can help you connect with these.